Long Distance Relationship Love
Relationship Advice

The Best Way to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

Long distance relationship sounds like a mash-up of words that should never be in the same sentence. A lot has been written about the difficulties of keeping the fire burning when there’s space standing in the way. While circumstances do determine the success of a long distance relationship, for instance, if you’re starting a LDR driven by constant communication over the phone, you’ll have a general idea of what it takes to make it work. But, if you find yourself in the dreaded LDR because of migration, a family relocating etc. then what?

Long Distance Love

Once the distance romance has become your reality, you will encounter a myriad of long distance relationship advice. And, to be quite frank, most of it will be terrible. In fact, statistics show that less than 1 out of every 10 long distance relationships survive the first year. Scary figures indeed! But, you cannot colour everyone with the same brush. The most common success stories of long distance relationships usually have a solid foundation, stabilised by mutual trust and effective communication (and maybe luck).

Why Long Distance Romance Doesn’t Work

Essentially, there’s an eagerness to compensate for space in between the relationship with constant communication. This will characterise the first few months of the relationship, where calling and video chats are the order of the day. This is sometimes dangerous because it gets exhausting and the lazy, routine ‘I love you’ loses its efficacy. Moreover, because your conversations are for an extended period of time, you may soon realise how dull-witted someone actually is. Which in itself is not a bad thing, the realisation  I mean.

The loneliness has often led one to questions of whether are long distance relationships healthy. Many answer this question with debauchery, one-night stands and the odd fling on the side. It is important not to look at LDRs as a burden, but rather, as a tug pulling you closer. Sounds a bit like a paradox yes, but there’s a silver lining. A little distance is worth the conversations of substance you will have once you’re no longer easily accessible. Worth more than the routine, mundane conversations you might have had when you were in close proximity.

How to Make it Work

It goes without saying that communication is a big part in maintaining a long distance relationship. Not just any communication, though. Since you are no longer occupying the same space, it is essential to go the extra mile. Make an effort to include your partner in your daily routine by giving them a front row seat to your life. Be more descriptive about your day and feelings, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Sending each other images of new looks, the odd selfie here and there keeps the fire alive in a relationship.

Long Distance Communication

Whilst there will be a longing for physical intimacy, technology has come to the rescue for many sex-starved LDR victims. Fill up the void and make an effort to sexually stimulate your partner through whichever channel you both choose. Talk dirty, send nudes, whatever rocks your boat. Whatever you do, #FillUpTheVoid. Do it for yourself and not as an insurance policy. What do I mean insurance policy? Well, do not engage in phone, Skype sex, send nudes, saucy texts in a bid to discourage your partner from otherwise finding an alternative to satisfy the sexual frustrations they may be experiencing. Ultimately, cheaters will cheat.

To establish a healthy level of trust and closeness, you both have to share your fears and emotions without fear of being judged. This extends to your insecurities and ideas of how something makes you feel. More often than not, it is all the things that are left unsaid that stir up the pot of a long distance relationship. Most importantly, avoid unnecessary fights. In a long distance relationship, a minor squabble can have far-reaching (excuse the pun) consequences because you can not see each other and sort things out. Sometimes these long distance relationship problems may lead to silent-treatment that continues for a very long time.

So, Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

It is useful for relationships in different geographical time zones to establish a schedule of some sort for calling and texting. Just because you both are not in the same place, does not mean you cannot “go” on dates. Virtual reality dating creates a fuzzy feeling of normalcy and assurance. Both of you know that you are putting equal effort to spend time “together”. Online dating this way bypasses a scenario where a missed call leaves one feeling like a call was deliberately ignored. In essence, the time spent away from your partner should be used to look inward and become more self-aware. A big part of a healthy relationship is for both individuals to be mentally ready for a relationship, let alone a long distance one.

Ready for a Long Distance Relationship

There are plenty of romantic ideas long distance relationships can use to keep the fire going. Because all you want to do is be with the person you love, try and be present each time you engage them. Zero-in on the conversations, listening and paying attention. And, since there literally isn’t any manual to the best way to make long distance relationships work, there is no wrong idea. Try doing as many things together, such as watching a movie together, listening to the radio or album simultaneous and watch yourself develop a new appreciation for your partner. Do that and the distance will not be what drives a wedge in between your love life, but what actually makes it stronger.

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