at what age should you have the talk with your daughter
Relationship Advice

How to Have The Sex Talk With Your Child

Beyond the parameters of formal education, we learn the most from the close quarters we call our home. This is where we learn from observed behavior as well as the lessons taught to us by our parents and legal guardians. These teachings range from how to address adults, to awkward conversations about the birds and the bees.

By default, parent try to set the benchmark very high so that their children can, at the bare minimum, have the brains to differentiate between right and wrong. At best, they hope that their children can be all that they are not, the good and the bad characteristics. The way in which they go about imparting these values they hope their kids aspire to have is seldom problematic.

the birds and the bees story

The Birds and Bees Talk Age

When I came of age, my parents broached the discussion about sex. There was a feeling akin to being claustrophobic, almost like there was an invisible vacuum sucking out all the air in the room. I simply wanted to get out of that room as soon as possible.

To my knowledge, nothing I did triggered this unsolicited conversation. I assumed they had suspected that I had begun dating and hoped that I wasn’t sexually active. Their suspicions were correct, after all it took them years to finally figure that out.

How to Have the Birds and the Bees Talk

The only objection I have about how the conversation went, in retrospect, was that it felt like a top-down conversation. It wasn’t from a bottom-up discussion. Simply put, they were instructing me on how I should behave when I had already done the opposite. Merely rebuking an unwanted behavior is no guarantee that it won’t happen again.

Till this day, I can still recall how the conversation was very brief. All I did was agreed to all they said and left the room as quickly as humanly possible. In hindsight, I would’ve preferred that my parents to do things differently.

Firstly, they could’ve asked me what my perception of the opposite sex was after watching a chick flick. Then let me do the talking and subsequently share their own experiences when they were the same age. Good or bad, I would’ve understood that the way my body reacts to seeing the opposite sex is a passage of life. Everyone goes through it at one point or the other. I would’ve used the advice they gave me because they already went through it. It’s that simple!

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