You will be dumbstruck to discover that you have been in a relationship with someone for several years and still can’t speak their language. I am not talking about the inability to get your point across, I am talking about knowing and understanding your partner’s love language. In total, there are five love languages that each of us uses to express how much we adore our loved ones. Some people have more than one love language while others simply present a single overarching language.
What is a Love Language?
Understanding the five love languages will help you express your love better. It is described in Dr. Gary Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages as the way in which we feel and communicate love and affection to our significant other. The most common mistake that is made in today’s relationships is that life partners generally reciprocate what their partner does without realizing that they may not appreciate the gesture in the same way.
A classic example is the manner in which couples celebrate their anniversary. You can find a scenario in which one partner gives their lover an expensive gift but the reaction does not reflect the price tag of the item. This situation shows that each and every one of us has a love language that is reflective of our individual personality.
The Five Love Languages for Singles
Despite being written in 1995, the book is as useful today as it was when it first came out. The 5 love languages are represented by: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
Words of Affirmation
While it may sound self-explanatory, this represents verbal words of praise for your partner, especially when they least expect it. It is centered on boosting the self-confidence of your lover by complimenting the way they look and how they make you feel about yourself. When dating a partner that appreciates words of affirmation, they are inclined to respond well to words of encouragement. The same can be said about words that discourage your partner, they tend to cut deep.
Acts of Service
On the opposite end, are people that believe that you have to ‘walk the talk’. They are less concerned with what you say and more focused on what you actually do. Acts of service do not represent moving mountains or taking a bullet for your loved one. It is a form of appreciation that displays that you do not take your partner for granted. With chivalry being a foreign concept in this day and age, an act of service can simply be opening the door for your partner.
Gift giving is potentially the most complicated of the 5 love languages, in which the sentiment is not all that counts. The bigger the gesture, the greater the assumed importance that the object resembles. Note that it does not mean that someone is materialistic in nature. It can take the form of tangible and intangible items of appreciation.
Even though we all appreciate quality time with our partners, this love language is more nuanced than it seems. It reflects the undivided attention that you give your partner when you are together. It involves blocking out the rest of the world and making her the center of attention. Reduce the number of distractions that may affect the connection during date night and make a concerted effort to spend time with your partner.
The five love languages summary ends with the physical touch love languages that you share with your partner. Relationships generally develop into a stage where you feel comfortable enough to touch yourself as well as your partner. There are varying degrees to showing someone that loves them, from as simple as holding hands to having sex.
To learn more about the love language test for couples, take the 5 love languages test. There are several websites that provide a free quiz for couples. You can also find the love language test for singles, tailor-made for people that are still to find love.