It is always unfortunate to look back at a failed relationship and, in hindsight, realize how much bull you tolerated. There are tons of red flags that we shove under the carpet hoping that it is just a one-time thing. Sadly, they are character traits that one develops over years of practice. And, if left unchecked, leave a trail of heartbreak in its wake.
We shed some light into identifying how dating a narcissist changes you. It is not easy to spot a narcissist in plain sight because their act is masterful at winning hearts over. With the help of our resident clinical psychologist, here are the top 10 signs you’re dating a narcissist.
Life like When Dating a Narcissist
Narcissists have a deep sense of satisfaction about all the achievements that they have accomplished. They will not waste an opportunity to share their milestone with anyone and everyone. Narcissistic individuals love talking about themselves in an exaggerated fashion, almost akin to having a God complex. They tend to downplay their partner’s efforts into making the relationship work while magnifying their own gestures.
In order to avoid misdiagnosing a vain person for a narcissist, you must look at the whole narcissist make-up in its totality. Narcissists are removed from a relationship emotionally. They quantify the relationship in terms of material things, the number of grandiose gestures performed as well as how others view the relationship. The only time that narcissists open themselves up emotionally is when they want to draw you in. This fragile state often arouse a sense of vulnerability and in part, maintains the spotlight on the narcissist.
Narcissist Dating a N
While anyone can speak boldly about their abilities and trophies, narcissists are aided by the fact that they are charming and smooth-talkers. They stop at nothing to win you over, often choosing to use what is most dear to you as a carrot to entice you. Narcissists will
Narcissists choose their victims wisely. They prey on individuals that have had some kind of emotional trauma or lack of self-esteem. Narcissists present themselves as the knight in shining armor, offering a firm shoulder to cry on at all times. They exploit this need for love and make sure that you are dependent on them for your own well-being and happiness.
A narcissist is very calculative in everything they do. They will bring to light everything they’ve done in the relationship in a spur of the moment just to make a point. Having a relationship with a narcissist is almost like a sport, where points are tallied and each act of affection has to be bettered by another.
Pathological narcissists are extremely competitive. They compete for your love and attention. When they get a whiff of anything or anyone that is on the receiving end of their partner’s love, they immediately become jealous. This can be traced back to their early childhood years, as most narcissists have a history of being over-loved or under-loved by their parents. A classic narcissist will make you choose between them versus what you love. This can be your family, friends or even your career.
Narcissist Dating Patterns
You will struggle to find a narcissist that doesn’t believe that they are exceptional. They deem themselves above everyone that believe to be the exception to the rule. This behavior is commonly disruptive to the relationship and indicated by inconsistent acts of love.
At no point in the relationship will you have a decent conversation with a narcissist to try and fix things. They are very sensitive and take everything personally. You will most likely have that conversation if it is initiated by them. They are oblivious to reason and will never admit to being wrong.
It is prudent to note that since narcissism is a psychological issue – formally described as narcissistic personality disorder – it cannot be diagnosed by just anyone. Only a licensed professional can render a full diagnosis after a thorough examination has been conducted.